


Cemetary

by the_misfortune_teller



Series: Right Where I Belong [22]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff (of course!), Future Fic, M/M, Oral Sex, Stiles just wants to make Derek smile, with a side order of Derek feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-20
Updated: 2013-05-20
Packaged: 2017-12-12 09:50:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/810212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_misfortune_teller/pseuds/the_misfortune_teller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Follow on fic from <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/588130/chapters/1057484">I'll Be With You Through The Dark</a>.</p><p>Derek goes to visit his family's graves for the first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cemetary

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt: (+8 months) Derek squeezing his hand tightly as they stand together beside his mother’s graveside and being able to do the same for Derek when he finally works up the courage to visit his family’s graves for the first time. // (+8 months) Stiles holding him in the cemetery when he breaks down beside his mother’s grave. They sit awkwardly on the damp grass for nearly three hours, Stiles stroking his back and saying nothing while he cries.**
> 
> ~
> 
> So, this is a collaboration between me and the eternally wonderful and incredibly awesome[DeCaStDe](http://archiveofourown.org/users/DeCaStDe), because I was struggling to end this fic on my own and she very kindly wrote a fantastic ending for it! :) I strongly suggest you get yourselves over to her profile and read her lovely, angsty fics - trust me, they're amazing! 

"You don't have to do this, you know," Stiles said, reaching for Derek's hand as they sat together in the Jeep and stared at the wrought iron gates ahead of them. "You can wait here for me."

"I need to," Derek replied quietly, giving his hand a quick squeeze before letting go. "I needed to a long time ago."

Stiles nodded, opening the door and sliding out of the Jeep. He walked around the front, watching Derek as he leant against the passenger side door taking several deep breaths, as though he were steeling himself.

"I can meet you back here after," Stiles suggested as they walked towards the gates. "If you want to go on your own."

"No," Derek replied, slightly more quickly than was strictly necessary. "No, I want – I need you to come with me."

"OK," Stiles shrugged, pushing open the cemetery gates and following the path to the section where his mother was buried, wondering if he should have asked Derek whether he minded first. It made sense though, to him at least; his mother was buried much nearer to the front of the cemetery, Derek's family being much further back amongst the older graves, buried alongside previous members of the Hale family, who'd been in Beacon Hills for a long, long time.

"You don't mind me coming with you?" Derek asked hesitantly as Stiles veered off the path, heading off between grave markers.

"No! I want you to come with me," Stiles replied, turning around and waiting for Derek to catch him up. "If you want to, that is."

Derek nodded, slipping his hand into Stiles' and following him the rest of the short distance to the grave. There'd been a thunderstorm the night before and the grass through which they were walking was still wet, dripping water onto Stiles' Converse and making them damp. That was really the only suggestion that it had rained all night, and the clouds had all dispersed, leaving a brilliant blue August sky above them. Stiles could never decide if he liked visiting the cemetery on a sunny day; sometimes it felt right, to sit on the grass by his mother's grave and enjoy the sun shining down on him, but on other days, it just felt plain wrong to be enjoying something she couldn't.

"We're, uh, this is it," Stiles said quietly, coming to a halt in front of his mom's head stone. He suddenly felt a wave of self consciousness sweep over him; normally he'd sit and talk to his mom for a bit when he came to visit, but felt as though he couldn't do that with Derek standing beside him.

"Do you always come on her birthday?" Derek asked.

"Yeah, I used to come with my dad, but he likes to come on his own now. Sometimes I come visit if I want to talk to her."

"You talk to her?"

"Uh, yeah. I know it's dumb and that she can't really hear me but it makes me feel better."

"You think you can't talk to her while I'm here, don't you?" Derek asked, squeezing his hand gently.

"Kind of." Stiles sighed, leaning against Derek. "I don't really talk to her about anything important, just stuff that's going on. Like if Scott's been a butthole, or if I've done well on a test." He pulled a face, fiddling with the zipper on his jacket and staring down at the head stone. After what felt like a long time, he took a deep breath and whispered "Hi mom". He glanced sideways at Derek, expecting to see him looking amused; he was pleasantly surprised when Derek just smiled fondly at him and nodded at him, as if to say 'go on'.

"Happy birthday," he murmured as he leant forward and brushed a few leaves off the headstone. "Mom, this is Derek. Remember? I told you about him..."

**::**

"How do you know where to go?" Derek asked as they walked further into the cemetery.

"Um. I kind of came to visit their graves last year. Just after we got together," Stiles admitted, looking down at the path because it was easier than looking at Derek right now. "I just...I wanted to meet them. You got to meet my dad, after all. Although I came here before my dad ever knew about us, but yeah." He glanced up briefly. "You don't mind, do you?"

Derek shook his head, his pace slowing the nearer to his family's gravestones they got. "I don't know if I can do this." He muttered, coming to an abrupt halt.

"OK." Stiles replied softly, moving to stand in front of him. "That's OK. We don't have to if you don't want to. We can come back another time if that's what you want. Or you can come back on your own." He wrapped his arms around Derek's shoulders and pulled him into a hug; Derek responded immediately, his arms snaking around Stiles' waist and his head dropping to his shoulder. They stayed like this for what felt like a long time, although Stiles wasn't entirely sure how much time had actually passed when Derek finally took a deep breath and pulled away from him, his expression resolute as he walked the final distance to the graves. Stiles hung back slightly, watching as Derek ran his fingers lightly over the engravings on his brother's head stone.

"Laura had to pick all these." He said quietly. "I couldn't...I was no use to anyone after the fire. She had to do it all on her own." He looked over at Stiles, his green eyes wet with tears. "They're all untidy...I should have come sooner."

"They'd understand." Stiles replied gently, taking a tentative step closer. Derek shook his head slowly, crouching down in front of the smallest headstone, the one with a carved teddy bear on it that Stiles now knew was for Peter's daughter.

"I couldn't even come to the funerals." Derek murmured. "They must think I hate them."

"No!" Stiles cried, his voice sounded unnecessarily loud in the still quiet of the cemetery. "Don't think that. Wherever they are right now, they know you love them."

Derek shrugged, finally turning his attention to the stone marked 'Talia Hale'; the one Stiles realised that he'd been avoiding looking at until that moment. He reached out, barely touching the black marble of the grave marker as tears starting to roll down his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry mom," He whispered, his words barely audible to Stiles. Derek sagged to his knees, his hand pressed against his mother's head stone; in an instant, Stiles was down on his knees beside him in the grass, not caring that it was still damp from last night's rainstorm. He wrapped his arms tightly around Derek's shoulders, pulling him close against his chest. Derek made a feeble attempt to shrug him off, but relaxed instantly under the gentle pressure from Stiles' steady grip. Stiles opened and closed his mouth, watching silently as the tears streamed down his face.

Derek took a shaky breath and licked his lips, saying something under his breath that Stiles couldn't catch. He took the opportunity to move into a more comfortable position, the damp grass already penetrating his jeans. Derek stayed quiet, tracing his finger through the 'H' of the 'Hale' on his mother's headstone. He was whispering again, and Stiles realised with horror that he was mouthing "Sorry" over and over again.

"Derek," He said sharply, making Derek flinch and flick his watery eyes over at him. "Unless there is something that is actually your fault that you're apologising for, you _stop that right now,_ you hear me?"

Derek closed his mouth and nodded, and Stiles felt his chest constrict in physical pain at how utterly ruined Derek was. His brain conjured up an image of Kate lying dead on the dusty floor, dark arterial blood pooling under her body. He wished for a second that she were still alive so that he could kill her again for the damage she had done.

Derek's gaze had shifted to the word 'mother', and Stiles leaned in closer to Derek as he began to trace the letters. He was about to speak when Derek chuckled, tapping the 'H' in 'Hale' lightly.

"What?" Stiles put his hand on Derek's jaw to lift his head, using his thumb to sweep away tears from Derek's cheek. Derek smiled, and his posture relaxed slightly.

"It's nothing, I was just thinking about something," Derek chuckled again and dropped his head, and Stiles released his hold on him and rested his hands on his thighs. Derek glanced up and shook his head, looking sad again for a second. "Nothing secret, just something dumb."

Stiles shook his head and smiled. He understood. Derek sniffed a few times and wiped his nose with his sleeve, before he laughed again and turned to Stiles.

"I was just remembering something–" His smile disappeared as his eyes landed on the smallest headstone, and Stiles leaned in to him again and tapped him on the shoulder, leaving his hand there until Derek's bloodshot eyes were locked with his.

"Do you want to hear something funny?" Derek gave a barely perceptible nod and Stiles returned it, his lips already quirking upwards as he remembered. "A couple of months after she was diagnosed we went to this distant relative of my mom's wedding, right? Anyway, she had a pretty good wig and was in between chemo so she didn't tell anyone she was sick."

Derek kept his face blank but Stiles saw the tension return to his shoulders and made himself smile, looking down at the grass and shrugging before he sat on his ass and pulled a face at the dampness. Derek copied him and rested his back against his mother's headstone.

Stiles' eyes nearly filled with tears as he thought how Derek was sitting leaning against her. Once again he ached for the Derek that Kate destroyed, even though it would have meant them never having met each other. Derek obviously thought Stiles had upset himself and he cleared his throat quietly.

"It's OK, you don't have to tell me."

Stiles shook his head and tore off some grass, brushing the blades over Derek's forearm on a whim. Derek looked up at him and gave him a quick smile, and for a heartbeat Stiles just _loved_ him so much that he was speechless. He dropped the grass and ran his fingers over Derek's and sat back, looking up at the cloudless sky when he realised subconsciously he was looking in the direction of his own mother's grave.

"You should ask my dad for the story, really, I'm not an impartial witness," Derek rolled his eyes at him and nudged his leg with his foot, motioning for him to continue. "Things weren't great, I mean _obviously_ , but my ADHD was, like, really bad. There was different meds and different combinations and stuff until they got it right, and I remember it as being really boring but I don't think everyone else did."

Stiles took a deep breath. He was supposed to be cheering Derek up, not depressing him further.

"After the ceremony we all had to drive to this big fancy house and Mom was tired and cranky and I was bouncing around and it was just a disaster waiting to happen. Baba was there and she was getting so mad at me, and trying to take care of mom and saying I was upsetting her–"

Stiles paused for breath, keeping his eyes away from Derek and furiously willing tears away. Derek's foot was still resting against his leg and he put his hand on his ankle, rubbing his hairy calf where it met his sock. Derek nudged him again and Stiles continued.

"–and dad got mad at her but it was one of those whispered arguments, you know? Anyway I decided that I was going to ask Mom to dance and I sat in her lap and put my arm around her neck to ask her."

Stiles could feel Derek's eyes burning holes in his face but he couldn't meet them, concentrating on dipping his finger in and out of the elastic at the top of Derek's sock.

"So she said yes, and I went to get off her so that I could help her up, but as I moved my arm my cufflink got stuck on something so I yanked real hard-" Stiles heard Derek's intake of breath and flinched. "-and I fell on the floor with mom's wig attached to my wrist. I started crying and Baba went crazy at me, yelling and trying to get it untangled."

Stiles took a deep breath, trying to remember his goal. "The room went, like, totally silent, like a movie. And then there's this weird kind of snort, right? And we all looked at my mom, and she was laughing. She got up and took me away from Baba, and we danced together until she got tired."

Stiles raised his eyes, surprised and a little guilty to find Derek's watery again. "Sorry, dude. It's just how I deal with stuff." Derek's lip quirked up for a second before he stopped it and Stiles laughed. "What? You are _so_ picturing my jacket with a wig stuck on it, aren't you?"

Derek ducked his head down, but he was smiling, and Stiles laughed again as he tickled Derek's foot. A few minutes passed and Derek cleared his throat, startling Stiles who was lost down memory lane.

"My parents had their 20th wedding anniversary when I was twelve, and we were all given separate jobs for it." Derek's face was closed off but his eyes were soft as he continued. "My cousin Josh's responsibility was to order the cake. Me and him had been fighting because he stood on my Grand Theft Auto CD and it broke."

Stiles laughed and Derek smirked. "Shut up, it wasn't funny. Anyway, I was the only one home one day and the bakery called to confirm the frosting, the lady said 'H-A-L-E?' and I told her she'd missed the 'W' off of the front."

Stiles laughed again and Derek smiled and shook his head. "So on the evening of the party the cake arrives and it says 'Happy Anniversary, Mr and Mrs Whale', Josh's dad – my uncle Thomas – he was furious, but my mom thought it was hilarious. She used to make reservations for the Whale's all the time."

Stiles laughed and Derek smiled, full and wide. "Did you ever own up?"

Derek was looking down at his hands as his smile softened and the threat of tears brimmed on his eyes. "No."

Stiles winced as Derek no doubt brooded over how he never could, and he feigned a nonchalant shrug. "Nah. You never should have, that is a classic prank, Derek. I'm impressed."

Derek smiled weakly and Stiles groaned as he stood up, brushing wet grass from his ass. "Ok. Tell me something about everyone, one good thing and one bad thing." Derek's face was unreadable, and Stiles hoped he hadn't made a mistake. "Your mom sounds awesome, but what was she terrible at? My mom, she burped. Like Homer Simpson burps. Anything carbonated and she was like an old man, it was embarrassing."

Derek laughed quietly and took Stiles offered hand, mostly for show as he stood up himself, batting Stiles hands away as he tried to brush the grass off his butt and cop a stealthy feel while he was there. They were still stood in front of Talia's stone, and Derek studied it in silence before a quick smile crossed his face.

"Games." He said quietly, and Stiles nodded, subtly entwining their fingers and giving Derek's a gentle squeeze, urging him to continue. Derek nodded and squeezed back. "She was a terrible loser. We used to have to hide Monopoly before thanksgiving so she couldn't find it and _swear_ that this time she would control her temper and not slice up the money."

Stiles laughed at the image and he could almost see the tension begin to float away from Derek as he lost himself in the memory. He tugged on Stiles' hand and moved in front of his father's grave, face lost in thought before he shook his head and moved them to the next.

_Joseph Matthew Hale 1983-2005_

Stiles waited for Derek to speak, trying to remember the pictures he'd seen of Joseph Hale when he was alive and definitely not thinking of him as one of the body bags wet with foam and water from the desperate battle to save the Hale house. Derek's big brother. _Fuck._

"Taught me how to play baseball," Derek's voice was choked, and Stiles kept his eyes down out of respect, squeezing his fingers tightly against Derek's. "He used to let me come to the batting cages with his friends even though I was younger, and a _total dork_. Used to play Putt Putt with me after, once his friends had left. Haven't done it since."

Derek seemed to need verbal encouragement to think of something bad about Joseph. Stiles cleared his throat and looked at him skeptically. "I can't imagine you ever being dorky." Derek smiled and Stiles relaxed, bumping his head on his shoulder and lowering his voice. "Come on, something bad."

"He used to call me 'Derk', 'Dorky Derk'." Stiles bit his lip so that he wouldn't laugh, but Derek broke first and full on _giggled_ , making Stiles grin. "When I was little I signed a birthday card to him and I messed up my name. He even had me in his phone as it, I don't think he ever called me Derek. Fuck, Stiles–"

Derek's hand went limp in Stiles' and he turned away, covering his face and breathing heavily. Stiles wavered for a second then instinctively leaned into him, wrapping his arms around his waist and waiting for it to pass. Derek sighed and his body relaxed into Stiles' chest.

"Sorry." Derek's voice was shaky and quiet, and Stiles released his hold for a second, coming to stand in front of him and pulling him into a proper hug. Derek leaned their heads together and sighed again. "I can do this, I _want_ to do this, I want other people to know about them, not just me."

"Tell me." Stiles murmured into Derek's warm neck, before he leaned back and kissed him softly. "Tell me about your family."

“Can we go?” Derek asked quietly, glancing down at the graves one last time. Stiles nodded, letting him lead the away and back towards the path. After walking in silence for a few minutes, Derek made an awkward coughing noise, catching Stiles’ attention.

“Maddie,” He murmured, a smile playing across his face.

“Peter’s daughter, right?” Stiles asked gently. “What about her?”

“You said one good thing and one bad thing about everyone,” Derek replied. “I can’t think of anything bad about Maddie. She was just a really sweet kid.”

By the time Derek had finished telling him about Maddie, about he had always been her favorite cousin and how that used to piss Laura off no end, they were back at Stiles’ Jeep.

"Hey." Stiles tapped his hands on the steering wheel and looked over at Derek, who was looking out of the windshield at the sunset, his eyes clear but his posture still sad. He met Stiles' gaze and raised his eyebrows in lieu of an answer. "Want to go play Putt Putt?"

Derek looked away quickly and Stiles sucked in a breath and rested his hand on his knee, squeezing gently. "It's ok if you don't want to, I just thought it might be a nice memory for you, I totally understand." Derek stayed quiet but turned to face him.

"I don't know. It probably wouldn't be fun, _I_ wouldn't be any fun."

Stiles rolled his eyes and hit him gently. "You're never any fun," At Derek's mock hurt expression he booped his nose and leaned back into his own seat. "I'm kidding, you're awesome and fun, and I love you," Derek poked him in the thigh and Stiles looked him in the eye. "I do. _So much._ Seriously, it's like an affliction. Help."

Derek smiled and pulled him into a kiss, any tension floating away before he sat back and nodded. "Ok. Yes, I want to. Let's go play Butt Putt."

Stiles turned the key and started to reverse the jeep before he braked, laughing and looking at Derek, who grinned.

"Yes, _butt_ putt. Apparently I called it that when I was a kid. I was a weird kid. Shut up. Stiles, stop laughing. Shut up"

**::**

Three hours later, after two rounds of Putt Putt that Stiles had intended to throw but had instead become the most hotly contested rounds that he'd ever played (and lost), and a half hour in the batting cages where Stiles got enough masturbation material to last him a lifetime, they went to get drive through McDonalds and parked up at a picnic spot to eat.

Stiles was deliberately keeping the conversation light, wanting Derek to finish the day happy. He was in the middle of describing the baseball uniform fantasy that he wanted for his birthday when Derek wiped his hands on his knees and stood up. Stiles looked up at him and whined when Derek took his milkshake away and yanked him up, putting his hands on his face and pulling him into an intense kiss.

They fought each other for dominance, gasping breaths between smaller kisses before one of them would win the battle and surge forward again. Stiles rested his hands on Derek's chest and pushed gently, breaking the kiss. Derek was practically panting, his face pink even in the dim light.

"What was that for?" Stiles licked his lips and Derek mirrored the gesture, stealing another quick kiss and moving his hands from Stiles' face and pulling him into a tight hug. He said something but Stiles couldn't make it out, and he poked him in the ribs, earning himself a smack on the butt.

" _I said,_ I love you, Stiles."

Stiles heart filled with happiness and warmth, and he squeezed Derek tightly, laughing until Derek wriggled out of his hold and started to clear up their trash. Stiles went over to the jeep and climbed in, rubbing the stains on his knees from the cemetary earlier. When Derek got in he saw what Stiles was doing and looked down at his own dirty knees.

"I've got them too."

"Mmm," Stiles smirked and touched the marks on Derek's left leg, running his hand further up and massaging his thigh gently. "Nobody will see yours. My dad will jump to the most obvious conclusion."

"Which is?" Derek's eyes were dark when they met Stiles', his face a mask of innocence as he subtly opened his legs a little wider.

"That I was on my knees for you," Stiles smiled and traced Derek's fly with his fingers, barely pressing down. He felt Derek's dick twitch and increased the pressure, flicking his eyes up to Derek's to make sure he wanted this. He got a barely perceptible nod as confirmation and returned it before getting to work on Derek's buttons.

Stiles didn't think he'd ever describe a blow job as romantic, but it was. He carried on through the ache in his jaw, using all of his tricks on Derek until he spilled down his throat and threw his head back against the seat, breathing hard. Stiles was still rock hard in his jeans but he didn't care, Derek looked peaceful and relaxed and Stiles felt lucky to be the person who could make him feel like that.

Stiles sucked in a breath as he shifted back into his own seat and Derek opened his eyes. He lifted his hand and waved it vaguely at Stiles' lap.

"You don't want me to...?"

Stiles shook his head and smiled, putting his seatbelt on and adjusting his jeans before he started the car. The tires crunched on the gravel and Stiles saw Derek's lips move as he shifted gear and headed back towards the highway.

"Did you say something?"

Derek hummed but didn't speak as he did his jeans back up and got put his seatbelt back on, finally looking over at Stiles.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, dude. My pleasure," Stiles laughed awkwardly, holding his fist out to Derek until he rolled his eyes and reluctantly bumped his own against it. “Yep, definitely my pleasure. Sucking your dick will never not be awesome.”

"Not for the blow job, idiot."

“I know.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr n stuff! [DeCaStDe](http://decastde.tumblr.com/) & [misfortune.teller](http://the-misfortune-teller.tumblr.com/).


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